Lonely Souls and Lovely Roads

I thought I would write about "aloneness". It came out of a Facebook post I replied to - an image that showed two people walking together down a road. The quote was something like, "I can walk your road with you, but I can't walk your road for you." The quote drew some agreements and commendations from "friends". It seemed nice. Like one of those spiritually-correct, new-agey kind of things to say. *Hmm*. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that I begged to differ. I added this as a reply to the quote:
No one else really walks it WITH you, either. Truly. Because they're on their very own road. It's yours alone. It's human to avoid and deny our true aloneness in this world, but it's a fact. We came that way ... we leave that way. In the center of this very disconcerting reality, is also the sweetness of our own soul - only available in your true "aloneness" ...

As life goes on, as you pass through decades and decades of living, you "get" some things. Most of these things that you get are truly gifts. Others are obtained by trial and error, some by very expensive lessons and brutal teachers. A few by Love & Life itself. One of the things that I've gotten is that yes, we truly ARE alone in this world. No one particularly likes that concept - partly because it has a deep truth to it, and partly because we end up engineering our Comfort Zones in life to include others - family, friends, lovers, children, students, peers - and on and on - and, well, hey, what's wrong with that anyway, I mean, isn't that "normal" and right?

Well, to get at the truth of things, we often have to mine, to dig, deeply, under the surface facades of what "appears" to be correct, or 'normal' or acceptable in life. Perhaps, it's only our own true heart that seeks these kind of answers, these kind of "absolutes" in life, and only our own true heart that can claim and acknowledge and own these truths as something resonant with our own soul. Therefore, these truths that I've found are uniquely my own. They may - or may not - speak to you, but regardless, you must find your own truths by mining the deep 'gold' within your own being - knowing and owning your own true riches, true wisdom and true understanding of what lies at the center, the core, of your own life. For me, I've been gifted with certain truths - most of which can't really be communicated in words. They can be painted, like beautiful adjectives, on beautiful menus, in a beautiful restaurant ... but they can't be eaten. You have to give yourself that very food, for your very own soul. It is true that I am alone, and I know I've always been truly alone, and as time goes on, I not only get more and more comfortable in that "aloneness", but I crave it. I drink long sips of it on a daily basis. I soak in it - sometimes for hours, enjoying, enjoying, enjoying.

The paradox and the true beauty of this aloneness, is that this aloneness does contain and reveal your very heart and soul. The seat and center of your longing, your emptiness, and your yearning as a human being - and simultaneously - the oasis, the fountain, the source and center of the liquid oneness that fills that very same void. This is the real jewel of aloneness, the source and center of who we are at our innermost core.

Without that, "aloneness" turns into loneliness. Without the attachment of the heart to its true "mother" within, the mind - in its restless, relentless, agitated nature turns impulsively to external attachments to keep it engaged, distracted, "happy and satisfied" with the temporary passing delights that it loves to articulate with, be they ever so frail, ever so finicky, and ever so fickle. So, that wonderful person, or persons, or family, or community ... that seems to walk by your side, on this road of life: note that there are times when they're not there. Note that they're subject to illness, anger, death, sorrow, depression, addictions, distraction and that, finally, at the end of the day, you truly do rest alone with yourself. No matter how close their body is to yours, their soul is light years away. Note that all the things that you possess, whether it's wealth, property, toys, health, balance, prosperity .. note that all these things come and go - by their very nature.

And also note that your dependence, your leaning on these things, your grabbing onto these things, your aching for these things, brings about repercussions, both in your own reaction to disappointments about their nature, and their own resentments for the extra weight you place upon them with the yoke of your desires. We have a deep longing, a yearning within our own beings - and when we try to stuff external things into that yawning empty space - it backfires. Those things, by their very nature, are not meant to fulfill the true yearning of a human being. It seems, we have an aversion to aloneness. We like the noise, the bubbly-ness, the loud and flashing colors, the engagement of the senses deeply in the pool of distraction: email, text messages, images, beeps and bops, ring-tones, high definition, surround sound, 3D Cinema, fast cars, organic chocolate.

Nothing wrong with any of that. A matter of balance. You can't eat the menu, or the posters. Or the radio ads. Or the Billboards. Or the conversations. Or the recipe book. Or the food pyramid. You gotta have the real food. Then, hey, what's wrong with a little cheesecake?

Same thing with the true essence of self: once you're comfortable in diving into that sweet pearl at the center of your own true aloneness, you realize you'll never be lonely again. Because you've found the true friend within. And you don't have to try to stuff all your other friends ... and relatives ... and strangers ... and distractions, in there. Balance. Based on the foundation of something you truly know is yours.

All else will be left behind. On this road ... this lovely road of Life. Which one day, elegantly or not, will come to an end.

 

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